I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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