The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
