Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
