I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
