What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
