I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
