and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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