he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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