Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
