You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
