my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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