...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
