I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
