I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
