Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
