My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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