By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
