Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize