she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
