I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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