I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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