And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
