FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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