how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
