My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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