i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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