Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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