He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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