i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
