did you get engaged???
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
