So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
