i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
