Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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