Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
