You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
