But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
