NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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