Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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