im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
