I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
