There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize