Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
