I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
