i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
