Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
