He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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