I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
