Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
