Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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