even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
