you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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