Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
