His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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