can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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