saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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