my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
