it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
