Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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