So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were trust falling into bushes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
