I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
