I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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