They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
