Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
