Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize